27 January 2011

Portland Versus Seattle

(this post refers to an earlier entry from 26 Jan 2011)

In no way am I trying to compare Seattle and Portland. Dear Lord, no. Portlanders have very little interest in Seattle - especially now that we have our own IKEA.

In fact, nothing irks me more than when someone says, "Oh, you're from Portland? I love Seattle!" GRRR! Just because both places are rainy and full of weirdos who like to read doesn't mean they're the same.

I mean, Boston and New York are almost the same distance apart as Portland and Seattle - and you wouldn't dream of telling someone from Boston how much you love NYC, right?

To further prove my point, I'm putting together a short list of a few ways these two cities are weird but in different ways.

Seattle: random troll sculpture
Portland: random bike sculpture

Seattle: Roller Derby
Portland: Hula Hooping

Seattle: Asian horror movies shown at midnight
Portland: so-bad-it's good movies shown at midnight

Seattle: Utilikilts
Portland: Stilts

Seattle: Too many cars, not enough road
Portland: Too many graphic designers, not enough jobs

Seattle: people who like starting businesses
Portland: people who like starting bands

Seattle: named after indian who's people believed it was wrong to speak the name of the dead.
Portland: name decided in a coin toss (it was almost named "Boston").

Seattle: home of Toys in Babeland - seller of obscenely wonderful bedroom devices

Portland: home of Voodoo Doughnuts - seller of obscene and wonderful doughnuts (available vegan, of course).

Seattle: Bumbershoot
Portland: Last Thursday

Now surely this post has your mind working - feel free to post your thoughts or angry rebuttal below. Here's one to get you started.

Seattle: Glitter Party
Portland: .....


Unknown said...

Oh I hear ya. Every time I hear, "Wow, Portlandia was so awesome!" from a foreigner (not Portlander) I love it AND cringe a bit. Of course, I moved from Seattle, but I think after over a decade, I get amnesty.

Dinah said...

I shared both these entries on my Facebook, which yielded the following comments:
"There's just not much animosity from my perspective as a midwestern boy, both cities are infinitely cooler than anywhere in Ohio. There's no point in sharing an inferiority complex when both are awesome, you know?"
And my favorite:
"Finally people will stop with "Seattle. Like where grunge is from?" and make fun of Portland for a while. We're very busy up here in Junior Vancouver BC being pretentious and driving our priuses over kids in skinny jeans on fixies.
We've got... Soccer fans. They've got soccer fans.
We've got Coffee. They've got Microbrews.
Neither one of us can seem to conquer Passive Aggressive note leaving or absurdly unfriendly politeness.
All in all, I don't see how this isn't the greatest corner of the world ever."