I Guess No One Ever Said Buying A Condo Would Be Easy

I Want this Condo Deal to Be OVER

This past Tuesday was an important day. I sent over the big wire transfer for my condo... and then I heard nothing.

It's been just over two days now and no one has said, "hey we got your money" or "hey come get the keys."

I emailed my real estate agent this afternoon and asked, "sooooo, I can move in next weekend right?" and "how about them keys?"

Before I get any further into this, let me say: I had a bad feeling that this process was going all-too-smoothly.

For one thing, this condo is a short sale. This is bad because the bank has you by the balls the entire time. From the very beginning they jack with you. I put an offer in on a condo back in mid-December and they took over a month to say, "no thanks." Meanwhile the condo stays on the market while they wait for higher offers to come in.

The situation gets better: there are TWO loans on this condo. There's the mortgage and then there's some other loan with BANK OF AMERICA for $3,000. These aren't my loans, okay? I don't know where the $3,000 loan came from, but we negotiated a deal where I pay half and the bank eats the other half.

... or so I thought.

Escrow was supposed to close TOMORROW. As in: tomorrow I was supposed to get the keys and be a happy homeowner.

Apparently not.

The representative at BANK OF AMERICA who coordinated that "halfsies" deal – quit. Now the paperwork is on someone else’s desk and the bank is saying, “weeeelllll, maybe we don’t want to write off the other half of this loan.”

Dude, if I changed my mind on that deal, they’d send my ass to collections.

What other industry can get away with this transactional flip-flopping? If I agree to buy a car, and come in the next day to pick it up, the dealer can't say, "uh, the guy you bought that car from doesn't work here any more and we want to charge you more so we're going to change the price of your car."

The realtors will call BANK OF AMERICA tomorrow and try to negotiate something. At which point one of three things will happen:

#1 Escrow will close on Monday (instead of Friday)

OR

# The bank will say “we’re going to think about it for a couple weeks.”

Which means I have to negotiate something with the apartment people (who will ream me on next month's rent) and of course reschedule the move.

Then who knows? They're probably thinking, "this chick is antsy to move, if we wait her out she'll just pay the whole thing." She can't live out of boxes forever...

Dude, this really bugs me.