25 June 2008

OC versus LA

Do you ever get annoyed when people say, "Oh, you're from Portland? I went to Seattle once, it was really nice."

GAH! Seattle and Portland are not the same place! Get a map, people.

That's how I feel when people ask me how I like living in Los Angeles. Sorry, guys, I really need to get this off my chest. I do not live in Los Angeles - and I've created a map to illustrate this fact.

The first marker (A) shows Los Angeles. The second marker (B) shows where I live. Marker C is San Diego. I live 60 miles south of LA, okay?

map of portland to monmouthI live as far from LA is Olympia is from Seattle. When I drive up there it's the same as driving from Portland to Monmouth.

More importantly, there are significant differences between LA people and Orange County people. You may be thinking, "yeah, but it's still Southern California."

I challenge you to tell someone from Long Island, NY they have a lot in common with someone from Newark, NJ. See what I'm saying?

Check it out:

LA People: try to act smart
OC People: take pride in being oblivious

LA People: think they're better than you
OC People: there are other people besides me?

LA: Cougars
OC: Golddiggers

LA: calculated decisions to move up the corporate ladder
OC: we invented "no-brainer"

Friends reading this in LA:
I'm painting in broad strokes here of course none of the above applies to you, just as none of the OC stuff applies to me. Besides - we're all imports anyway.

My last visit to LA was a trip - and I mean "trip" in both the actual and the slang definition. I tried to approach dinner in Santa Monica as though I were doing a piece for National Geographic:

Here's the Jr. Entertainment Lawyer who may one day sprout her wings - venturing away from the corporate nest to open her own firm. Here's the host of a home improvement show on a third-tier cable network. Look how she spreads her plumage for the male populace. Sadly, she is nearing the end of her useful life. In a few short years, she will be ostracized . . . or eaten.

. . . you get the idea.

I was happy to make the drive back to Orange County where no one really gives a shit what I do or who I work for.

I can't believe I just wrote that.


Dinah said...

Oddly, this kind of makes me feel better about how infrequently we're able to get together. Even I'm guilty of, "But we're not THAT far away, we should get together more often!" But yeah, we're pretty far away from each other. So, as much as I think it would be super awesome for us to get together more often, I'm going to stop feeling guilty about it.

All that said: Catalina! I would love to actually make that happen!

Annie J. said...

That annoys me almost as much as when people think that because I grew up in Vancouver I am Canadian.

Anonymous said...

Well, I can also confirm from experience you also are not from Burbank...an not all LA Metro area airports are convenient. In retrospect, I think we would have been better off flying into San Diego.

Oh, and when you go to Europe, most people assume you have been to New York many times. I had to explain that London is closer and more convenient to NYC than Portland.

We'll send you pictures of our first 4th of July in Fireworks Central. Our only hopes are that our house does not burn down and Rebecca is not impaled by a neighbors bottle rocket.


Anonymous said...

This is for Annie:

When people confuse BC with WA, make sure to let them know the WA Vancouver was established some 40 years before the B.C. Vancouver.

That'll fix their hash!

I know this because a friendly ranger at the Fort told us that during a recent wandering over there.

--Leah's husband

Anonymous said...

while everything you said was true, i hope to someday live somewhere that does not require using the 5 freeway.

it follows me like a curse. all long and...fivey.

p.s.: the Orange Crush sounds AWESOME. sadly, i don't think they go for destruction derbies much in Santa Cruz County. unless the cars run on granola. or smugness.