I heart Zombies

This Valentine's Day I would like to proclaim my love for zombies. Okay, not the zombies themselves, but the whole zombie phenomenon.

I spent the first few weeks of this year devouring the Monster Island books. The story goes like this: in a post-zombie apocalyptic world where the civilized nations have been overrun, Somalia is one of humanity's last holdouts (they're well-armed). The leader has AIDS so a former UN weapons inspector and a gang of teenage Somali girls with M-16s must invade NYC to get her medicine. It's a fun read.

That said, World War Z is my favorite zombie book. It's another post-zombie takeover story. This one is written from an ever-changing POV of survivors around the world. It delves into how the various nations handle the epidemic and gives serious discussion to what happens to a world swarmed with the living dead. So it's like, actually a read for smart people and stuff.

Okay, but getting back to why I love zombies. Here's what I think it is: Zombie stories appeal to my anti-consumerism side. In a zombie story, there's no room for nonsense. There's no romantic "B Story." We don't have to suffer through a worst-day-of-her-life montage, and no one is going to do anything sexual with food for "laughs."


With zombie stories it's all about fighting for survival. You get your posse, your weapon and leave the rest behind! That luxury SUV is a death trap once it runs out of gas. Jimmy Choo shoes - useless (except as a short-term weapon).

After reading the Zombie Survival Guide, I decided to invest in a hatchet shovel. You never know, Man. You never know.

So . . . pirate-related stuff has been all the rage for the last several years, right? Okay, that is so late-90's. It's time to do away with the eye patch and the silly talkin'. It's zombie time now.

I really believe we're on the cusp of something. In the last few years there have been zombie flash mobs in San Francisco, Vancouver BC, and Europe. It's time to get serious.

So if any of this has gotten you in the mood to watch some zombie movies, might I recommend:

Army of Darkness
Shawn of the Dead
Dead Alive

Don't jump my shit for not mentioning Romero! I was waiting to mention his new film Diary of the Dead which comes out later this year. To be honest, it looks just ok-ay. But you know I'll be there opening night.

GGGgrgrgaaraggghhhhh!

- MD