09 June 2007

Fake Meat Part Two - "Sausage"

On a scale of fake meat believability where a one is fake bacon (not even close) and a ten is soy grounds (which I suspect was in those school lunch burritos anyway): the sausage ranks about a six. Alas, scientists have not been able to make soysage taste exactly like sausage. To their credit: four years ago I would have scored soysage only a five.

Taking into account that soysage is much better for you than the real thing, it's really not so bad. As with most vegetarian substitues, it's hard to tell the difference when you mix soysage in with something else (breakfast burrito, etc). We're not even going to talk about the links-style breakfast sausage. The chemists really need to go back to the drawing board on that one.

I used to hold BOCA as the best of the best, but Morningstar has gained some ground. I'd now rank the two competitors about even. The new and improved Morningstar sausage has a little more spice to it and I daresay it produces the tiniest amount of grease (this is a good thing). Useless trivia: Morningstar Farms is owned by Kellogg.

I really like this sausage . . . when other people cook it. I don't know what my problem is. Maybe the magic only happens when you make this sausage on a big, greasy restaurant grill.

I still have to award first place to BOCA. They've been doing it right for a long time: they make an effort in regards to flavor and they are ever-so-slightly greasy. Let's face it, if you're reaching for the fake sausage, there's a reason. That cheesey potato sausage and garlic scramble on Sunday morning is medicinal, man.

Loud Quiet Loud

I suppose I should do a blog entry about things that go on in my life. It's been awhile, eh? Are you sure you don't want another entry about fake meat? Well, okay.

photo courtesy orangecountyshopping.comOne of the things I've actually grown to like about Orange County (God help me) is that I am better able to set goals and achieve them. Who knows what prevented me from accomplishing things back home; I think it was a combination of: fun distractions, good microbrew, and extremely de-motivating weather.

So, first off I decided it was time to write another screenplay. As always, I write for fun and with only the faintest hope that someone will pay me money. I finished the darn thing in May just before the Slamdance deadline. It's the compare-and-contrast movie about Portland and the OC that I've wanted to write for years. It's also loosely based on Peter Pan - I bet you can guess which city is Never-Never-land.

The second thing I wanted to do is get away from marketing and event planning. You know what? Planning events is a pain in the ass. I always thought I got the event gigs because I was good at it. Oh hell no. I now realize: I got the job because no one else wanted it. Well no more. I'm still with the same employer (yay) but now I am a sales consultant and I spend most of the day talking to dive shop owners in the Northwest. Eventually though, I think I'd like to transition to a job that involves online copywriting and editing.

So, I got the job thing squared away and the screenplay in the can. I gave myself two weeks off and was ready to start my next project: learning some Japanese.

Mom, David and I are headed to the Land of the Rising sun in October and I can't wait. I have some books I bought from J-list and have been listening to a great learn-Japanese podcast.

Now comes the wrench in the plan: the dive instructor course started up at work. Yes, it's actually happening. After many false starts, The Crow and I are finally on our way. We've had three classroom sessions so far (three of about twenty-five) and one pool session (of about twelve). We also have a couple days worth of ocean training ahead. Hopefully by September we'll be done.

So "Loud Quiet Loud" is the name of this post because that's how the year has been so far: very intense, very mellow, very intense. It's also the name of a really excellent documentary about the Pixies.

Lastly, some of you have inquired about Little Red Car, aka "The '95 Mirage." She is doing pretty okay, thank you for asking. For awhile she had this little problem of stalling while I was driving her. But in the end all she needed was a new distributor. My friend Penny (who just sold her 15-year-old car) said, "you know how sometimes people have a sick pet, and they keep it alive too long?" But I don't know. I just can't think of a car I'd want more than my little red one.

Well, that's about it. Thanks for stopping by.

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