18 November 2005

Grand Theft Auto Kitten

As I write this, The Crow is playing The Warriors on PS2. By the way, if you haven't seen the movie this video game is based on, I recommend it.


I asked The Crow what he thought of the game so far and he said something along the lines of, "Eh, it's pretty much the same game I've played over and over. You wander around, you pick shit up, guys attack you and you shoot them or stab them with a knife or whatever."


I read somewhere that the video game industry is in need of new ideas. Though the industry overall is doing very well, (I think I read somewhere that video games made more money than movies last year)* the exec's at EA Games and so forth are looking for new material to broaden the market. Sure you can put a new skin on the old shoot 'em up game or improve the graphics on the virtual football field, but that's just milking more money out of the same audience. What the industry needs is a game that could appeal to groups as disparate as:


  • girlfriends who stayed with their boyfriend despite his purchase of a PS2
  • Asian people
  • crazy cat ladies
So here's a free one, on me.


Someone needs to make a video game where the player is a house cat. Stick with me on this one. The various challenges would include:

  • opening the cupboard and breaking into your food
  • dragging the trash out of the can and into as much of the house as possible
  • crossing the street without getting distracted by any shiny objects
  • watching your owners have sex for as long as possible without getting thrown out
  • trying to trip your owner when he or she is working in the kitchen
  • knocking shit off of counters
  • killing and eating bugs
  • hiding as many valuable objects as possible under the couch
  • spilling as many wine glasses as possible with your tail
  • . . . the possibilities are endless.

The cat could even have a health meter that occasionally has to be replenished by napping.


EA Games or other development company - if you're reading this and are going to steal my idea, you at least have to send me a free copy. That's all I ask.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the bonus levels such as taking a dump in the neighbors flowerbed, taunting dogs, and creating custom hairballs

HainanBoy said...

Hilarious!