California Update

It was one week ago today that we hit the road for the big C.A., and though we have technically only been living in Orange County for about five days, it feels like we have been here much longer. Barry has acclimated to our new surroundings like a fish to water or, as I like to think of it, a capitalist to a shopping mall. My adjustment is coming along more slowly.

The first couple of days were extremely unsettling as the weather is quite different here. My inner little animal, I like to think of it as a squirrel, didn't know what to make of it all and just huddled in the corner, eyes darting side to side, saying, "something is really wrong here." By now I have started to adjust to my surroundings. When I drive down the street I drive the speed limit (50mph) like everyone else, and flip a U-Turn at major intersections because, well, I can. I've also begun to resolve my issues with strip malls since the ones here have Indian grocers, taquerias and sushi joints where Portland has barren storefronts and check cashing places.

There are some things, however, I don't think I will ever get used to: the lack of recycling, the use of styrofoam, the radio ads for breast augmentation and vaginal reconstruction(!!!), and the prolliferation of tanning booths (why?).

I AM enjoying the warmer weather, pumping my own gas, and being closer to the ocean.

Of course, some things will never change. My car has already been shat upon by birds three times in five days. I avoid parking under trees and telephone poles; what is it about my car that causes every bird in a three-mile radius to release its bowels?

I don't have much to report on the job front. The interview I had on monday for a supposed $40k/year copywriting gig turned out to be scamtastic. When I arrived I was issued a typing test and made to watch a 20 minute safety video which informed me I should never cut across the lawn of a "business park or plaza" (use designated paved walkways ONLY) and I should not attempt to fix the paper shredder with a letter opener. Two hours later I finally left the place gaining nothing more than the knowledge that I can type 66 words per minute with 6 errors. Yes, I am the typist from hell.

Tomorrow we head to L.A. to visit Heidi (Barry's cat) and take in a few sights. I imagine this trip will provide plenty of colorful fodder for the next california update.

Stay tuned...

-M.D.